Rejection
The stabbing pain of rejection.
A “no” that feels like a dagger. Personal.
I’ve been there oh so many times.
- Asking a friend for something, and getting a no as response.
- Being told: sorry you can’t come because X is coming.
- Someone not texting back for days.
- Feeling left out of a conversation in a dinner party.
- Reaching out for a lover’s hand just for it to be removed.
Brutal.
No wonder when we’re feeling the visceral pain of rejection, all we want to do is shut down our heart. Stop our love. Protect ourselves. Sometimes even lash out to the other person so they hurt as much as we’re hurting.
And yet… are they really rejecting us? Is it ever really about US?
No.
Truth is, someone’s actions are not about us at all.
They are a reflection of where they’re at within themselves.
And although what others do or not do is NOT our responsibility, what IS our responsibility is what gets activated within *us* in those situations.
The emotions it triggers.
The survival mechanisms we’ve developed as a response.
External rejection is a perception of the mind. An interpretation. A story we tell ourselves.
What’s more real is the rejection that happens within us… The only person that can reject us is ourselves: parts of ourselves, our emotions, our truth.
When I’m in the contraction of rejection:
I take a deep soft belly breath.
I unclench my jaw. Relax my shoulders.
I tell myself I am safe.
I feel the emotions and the pain.
And I choose to soften into it.
To open.
To remember who I am, in my essence, cannot be rejected.
I stay with myself. I hold ALL of me. I don’t reject the pain. Or the emotions... no matter how uncomfortable they may be.
I say YES to me.